I’m glad you considered the birds, I would've done the same thing. Like I said last week, if the earth dies we die with it and even though those birds are probably not older than I am and won't ever be, I feel like they were here first, inhabiting the earth before us and therefore they deserve our respect at the least. I would like the same amount of consideration if it were my nest and babies. I also think animals have a way of sensing our energies and won't pick a place where the energy is bad, so I would even consider it an honor.
“What are your realities? Do they feel performative?” I found your note interesting because I think we all become different versions of ourselves depending on where we are. I’m slightly different at school than I am at home and slightly different with my cousins than I am with my friends. Even then I still believe all these parts are still a performance. I think we know ourselves better than anyone else and can truly allow ourselves to be in the comfort of our own presence.
I can definitely relate to having the voice in your head saying “I knew this wasn’t going to work” or “I knew you couldn’t do it”, it's something that has stopped me from doing so many things and just trusting my instinct and gut to do things. I have definitely have gotten better at not letting it get into “word form” in my brain and instead just embracing all the scary and nerve wracking feelings because you're right, energy does have power and if we face things head on even with the doubt, i think you have a bigger chance of making it out alive.
I suppose the only identity that might be actually true is the one where I am aware of my reactions and how I pose in certain situations. I recently noticed that I change my accent, the way I talk, to be in different communities. When I am angry, a certain accent comes out and I have always wondered if it’s my true voice because in that moment I’m not trying to conform to please anyone.