Wanting as a self-propagating plant. I think about what I want a lot, tending - perhaps unnecessarily - to something already vital and without need for extra attention. I feel it would be good to know exactly what I do want, but I suppose that’s not really the point in the end. Freedom from desire?
I just read a Chinese proverb posted on Instagram by a Portuguese healer living in Germany. It said “Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.” I screen-shotted it. Google confirmed: it’s true.
A teacher once suggested my mind is like a garden; that I should be careful what ideas I let take root, and to decisively pull out any I don’t want. Gardening is a practice, and weeds are always growing. One doesn’t weed just once a season.
Can I be relaxed while reaching beyond my comfort zone? I suppose the proverb is not qualifying tension and relaxation. So, I will go ahead and be tense sometimes, when I am challenging who I am. What plants have I been tending? Which ones will I decide to stop nurturing? Make some space for something new to grow! That makes me relax and breathe deep. After all, I am not the plants, and yet, that is exactly what I am.
Who am I as a context for ideas to grow in? Nothing isn’t just nothing. There is always a context. What a feat to find nothing. Perhaps it’s the most precious thing; making existence possible for everything. Nothing sounds like God to me. Does nothing even exist?