Week 1 Tera

A Student Response From:


I have trouble with the idea of self. I went to catholic school as a child and was not allowed to question the teachings of the catholic church as well as any person in a position of power. I had to accept things I didn’t believe in as truth and was not allowed to think freely. I only knew how to be the person I needed to be to survive. Even years after escaping, I struggle with my sense of self and I find myself morphing into the person I think will be accepted in the different environments I partake in. My school self is different from my work self and my work self is different from my home self. I think my truest form is who I am when I am alone, and I do not have to worry about pleasing others. I am still figuring out what I believe in as well as the things that bring me joy and make me who I am. The idea of truth is even more difficult for me to wrap my head around. Our own personal truth does not necessarily have to be true. Our minds warp our memories and can turn them into something technically untrue, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t true to us. I think it is exciting to be able to question truth when I grew up in an environment that only believed in one capital T Truth.

Comments 2

  1. I struggle with self. For the same reason a lot of us religious kids do. Never question authority even if they’re doing something wrong, eat with the family and not when you’re hungry, Wear clothes that make you disappear instead of clothes you like, don’t let boys touch you unless they’re older than you or more powerful than your parents and then you’re supposed to let them hug you, have faith instead of thinking for yourself, don’t be seen doing anything wrong (you can do it, don’t get caught)… I could go on forever. I was angry for a long time. When I got to the point of blinding rage I would just act without thinking about it. That was the only way I knew how to make my own choices. It took 20 years to be able to find that same assuredness in decisions without being angry. Now people call me impulsive – I don’t care. I’d rather spend my whole life chasing whims that never come to be than die never having a dream of my own.

  2. What you said about religion and the catholic church really connected with me. I had always attended Catholic school my whole life up until college. For me, it was not necessarily a struggle of accepting things I didn’t believe as true, it more so had to do with me getting sick of hearing the same things over and over again year after year and being told that if I did certain things that are basic human actions that everyone does that I would be a bad person. Do I still believe the church’s teachings? Most of them yes but I don’t follow everything the church tells people to follow. I wanted to live a life that I wanted to live and that would make me happy, not one that would make other people happy yet make me feel bound up. Who is anyone to say that they know exactly what is true for each and every person? We are people not machines, everyone has their own truth that is ever-changing and it is important to follow whatever your truth may be. For me, I believe it’s important to live life more on the adventurous side because I don’t want to ever regret having not tried something. A lot of people don’t like the way I approach my life but what other people think doesn’t matter, what I believe is true is what matters.

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